To Pay Without Pain

The rise of AI has been making me want to hug the humans around me tighter. Bruises, wrinkles, blemishes and all. I want to feel their skin, their bones; their touch is nourishment that modern medicine can’t replace. 

I want to take baths and feel warm water holding my soft body and remember that this body was held in warm water within the womb. I want to ground ever more deeply into my humanness. I want to dance on wood floors that ancestors have laid down. I want to build a tiny home with my own hands, made of stone and clay. It will be a slow, slow build. I want to hold onto that pace. 

And… I want to use modern technology to grow the things I care about. To communicate quickly with my housemates. To play music while my lovers and I are snuggling in the night. To be able to pay for things in this world (like hot water every day! Oh, to imagine losing this lavish indulgence) with magical virtual payment systems that are far beyond my comprehension. 

I don’t need to abandon my values, my desires and my pleasure, to expand into a speedier pace. 

Growth doesn’t always equate to exploitation (though it often has, and often does). There is always a price to pay, but maybe the price could be time and energy that feels okay for myself and for others (laborers & mama earth, I’m thinking of you). Some prices I pay with pleasure. When they feel fair, when I’m excited to invest in whatever or whoever it is, when I feel good and within integrity about what I’m purchasing.

Can I avoid the prices that are paid with others’ pain? No, I can’t. That is the complexity of living in this world, making choices as I go. Can I be thinking about this, learning about this, holding intentions around this? Yes, for the rest of my living in this world, making choices as I go.